Don't run away from something simply because you hate it. Life has a way of twisting the road around to bring you right back where you started, with a heavier load than before.
"I am afraid of life decisions, choosing life"
Decisions must be made seriously, incorporating both the logical faculties of the mind, as well as the intuitive perspective of the heart. Logic helps you discern the inmediate situation, but compassion gives you an almost omniscient understanding of the consequences of your actions.
"Row row row your boat, gently down the stream..."
Make BEAUTY the focus of all your decisions. Do things not only because they make sense, but because it is beautiful make them manifest. Beauty as a perspective, as a lens of the heart. When wondering what would be the best response to a given situation, ask: Which act is the most beautiful?
"Beautiful acts are compassionate acts?"
You will find that the beautiful acts are also the most meaningful, the most fruitful, and the most rewarding to a well-meaning human spirit yearning for liberation.
"Spirit navegation has a compass, called beauty"
Rolling on, evolution churns history in its wake. Humanity in this post-industrial, neurotic state cannot recognize the truth. Plethoras of ideologies divide and confuse, impossible to agree, impossible for all to jump on the same boat. Pulling it in all directions, we are going to sink.
"Beauty as a target for evolution!! Who is inmune to beauty??"
Different "tastes," different perceptions of what makes something beautiful. Sculptures of flesh and splattered blood, dreams, flowers, crystalline eyes. Glowing people from cities in the sky. Vapor rising from the vents of factories, webs of light on the earth, galaxies in the sky. Fires in the mountains, glowing in the sea. Intoxicating liquor of the sun, shining through the chests of men. Crystalline vacuum of the moon in the chests of women.
"The killing of cats"
More important than the trigger is the sensation itself. The leap of faith needed to do something for beauty is the very point of the exercise. Currents of purpose, things all happen for a reason.
"Swimming in an ocean of meaning"
Image, the cosmos is a flowing river. Winding up, winding down, currents twisting in and out, all around each other, balancing the whole. Conscious mind is the thinnest tendril, a tiny string whipped inexorably and inextricably throughout the roaring mass.
A pond of clear water. An insect on its surface flicks a leg and creates a ripple. The ripple travels out, hits a jagged edge, divides, and bounces back. The ripples in turn bounce off other edges, bouncing back, becoming a chaos. The insect gets confused and kicks again, balancing itself, in turn creating more ripples that intensify the chaos, neverending. The only way to stop the ripples is to hold still.
"Watch how we swim, now"
Treason to the world is treason to yourself. Your face is getting hard, your eyes are turning to glass.
"I made my choices"
Spirit is eternal. Enlightenment is complete. Enlightenment is within your experience, right now, exactly as you are. You see it even now.
"I am complete."
"I am fearful, I am nervous. I am in pain, like an animal that must kick its hind legs while resting its head on the ground."
The grittiness of sand.
"I miss my previous self, the living bright-eyed creature that shone like a sun in the desert, that shook like moss in the mist. The crazy innkeeper of earth in the mountains, welcoming rivers of Gods into Earth... Look at this world! This sun, this beauty! Look through these eyes! Stay with us, care for this earth! Douzo! Omfg douzo irasshaimase!!!"
Requiem for a chrysalis.
"I stand and stretch, my muscles atrophying, my spirit shriveling. Masks on my face, masks growing roots and sticking, tearing them off gets harder and harder..."
The Lord and his mysterious ways.
"Complaining of nothing, my life is so much better... all those starving children..."
The surface of the sun burns at 11,000 F.
"I am nothing to you, eternal spirit of the cosmos, mind that guides me, mind that teaches me!!"
Un dia a la vez, mi Cristo...
"The flexibility of mind, of compassion! Forgetting how to be compassionate!! All my dreams, my future...!"
Karma karma, all is karma (Ripples ripples karma!!)
"Must choose my life"
Every day at a time.
"Must make the right choice"
Every second, every day.
"Must not forget"
Forget, forget, forget
"Be lost in space"
Never lost, never lost
"Afraid to let go"
Let go, let go
"I love you"
I love you